The toxicity of the relationship between you and your spouse was too much to bear. You stayed in your marriage as long as you could but reached a breaking point. The reason you remained in your union longer than you had wanted was because of your children. You knew a divorce would be hard on them.
But now that divorce is on the horizon, you need to tolerate your soon-to-be former spouse while achieving an effective parenting plan. Somehow, you must convince your spouse to declare a truce on parenting issues and create a solid parenting plan.
Staying civil and open to compromise
How can you do so, knowing that you may be met with resistance? It is important to take the high road. Here are some pointers that will help steer you in this direction:
- Try to remain civil: Granted, this may be difficult for you, understanding what you experienced during your marriage. However, this is so important. Your children are watching. If your face-to-face conversations usually result in arguments, consider communicating through phone calls, texts and email. As parents of the same children, you are stuck with each other. Try to work things out.
- Avoid insults and name-calling: None of this should happen in front of your children. Kids have long-lasting memories, and words can hurt. They already are trying to understand divorce, and struggle with why it happened. You are not protecting them by allowing them to watch you in a no-holds-barred argument.
- Compromise is possible: Scheduling conflicts, sometimes, surface whether it is a planned family outing, sporting activity or school event. It is not a good idea to make demands just because it is “your designated time” with your children. Remember, these activities will benefit your children. Consider what they want and what benefits them. Do not put yourself first.
Parenting plans are crucial in the relationships between parents and their children. Both parents must continue to protect their children and love them wholeheartedly.
Try to continue to work together
Despite your history with your spouse, you must understand that the two of you will still have to work together when it comes to your children. Try to set aside the animosity. You can do this.